Great {Coach} Expectations

This episode is dedicated to the coaches...how to be a great one, how to choose a great one...we talk about it all! 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

What's up, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of Real Talk with Rebel. I'm here with my owner and good friend Carissa. What's up? And uh, we're just gonna have a pretty low-key conversation today. We're just gonna talk about what it really means to be a good coach and as you being a client, what you should expect to receive from a coach physically, emotionally, maturity-wise, you know, resource-wise, just kind of going through some of that. And, you know, Carissa and I have both been coaches for a good chunk of time at this point, from youth sports to working with older clientele with an injury or you know, disease history. So, not that we're perfect, but we have a pretty decent idea. You know, we like to think we're good coaches.

SPEAKER_01 0:44

So I agree.

SPEAKER_00 0:45

Yeah, we're just gonna go into a little bit of it. I have a little acronym for coaching that I kind of like to run by and use to teach my trainers that work under me what to use. And uh, so for the C in coaching, you should be, you know, getting consistency, that's for sure. Like if your coach is inconsistent, either in showing up in exercise selection, in the quality of the workouts, the mood that they're showing up in, how is that being a good example for you to show up and do what you need to do no matter how you're feeling? Right. As a coach, my big thing is hey, if you had a rough day, like I understand, let's talk about it before the game or after the game, but for these 40 minutes, these nine innings, whatever, I just need you to lock in, let's try to work through it, and then I got you after the fact, right? But if your coach is like, ah, gotta play, forget that. That's that's a red flag, in my opinion. Amen.

SPEAKER_02 1:42

I think the two biggest things for me in this one are the mood, is number one. If you've got a coach that is just all over the board with mood, there is not much in the on this planet that drives me more crazy. How are you coaching other people and you can't even get your own shit right? Like, get yourself under control. There should be stability in that, especially if you're coaching kids. Manage your damn emotions. That part. Like go to therapy because that's insane. Like, I can't stand inconsistency with that. And the other thing is for me is the consistency again in programming. Yeah. And there's like a couple like ways that I would go off on this, but the most important one for me would be if you're a type of coach, like I want to see that there's consistency in that. I think we live in a world that, again, it's it's we're overwhelmed with social media, we're overwhelmed with information in general. So what I can't stand is to have a coach that is like, hey, this is who I am and this is the kind of coach I am. And then the two weeks later they switch up and then it's like, oh, all of a sudden, okay, just kidding. Now we're this kind of coach because I watched this on social media. Oh, now all of a sudden I'm this kind of coach and I'm doing this because I saw this. I think that again, when we're talking about specific red flags, for me, that's just a coach that's not convicted on anything. That's a coach that doesn't stand for anything actually. They just don't know who they are. Which again, if you're dealing with somebody who's younger, sometimes that happens because they're trying to figure out who they are. But when you don't see, when you see massive changes in consistency and just coaching style, programming, stuff like that, you've got somebody on your hands that is going to go, they're gonna change with the wind. It's gonna be whatever the next trend is, whatever the shiny next thing is, whatever, whatever, they're gonna be chasing that. And that stuff drives me absolutely crazy. Yeah. So consistency is huge.

SPEAKER_00 3:24

And kind of along that same vein, like when consistency is coming from the coach as a client, you should feel comfort, right? If you're not comfortable with your coach physically by the way that they talk to you, you know, they ask permission. Hey, if they need to show you or cue you on something, can they touch you? Is that okay? All of these things matter, right? The way they speak to you, the tone in which they deliver instructions, the way that they talk you through when you're not doing something correctly. Are they taking accountability kind of with you, or are they like, God, just do it right? Right. So being comfortable with the coach can take you further than being with a better coach. Because if you're with a great coach but you're uncomfortable versus you're with a pretty good coach that you love to work with, that pretty good coach is going to get you even better results.

SPEAKER_02 4:09

Absolutely. I think that just goes along for me. It's like a safety thing. Yeah. I just safety is a big thing for me. I come from the mental health world. Safety is, you know, if people don't feel safe, it will affect every single aspect of what they're trying to do, whether it's retention, I'm listening, coachability, um, you know, all of those things. Safety is important. And so as a coach, you should be providing a space that people feel comfortable and safe with you at, you know, that's the foundation, that's the minimal that we're asking for.

SPEAKER_00 4:43

Yeah. And writing right off of safety into the O of being a coach, the biggest thing for me is observation, right? That's what can then make somebody feel safe. Are you, as a coach, observant enough to notice when it's physically difficult and uncomfortable, but also when emotionally they're feeling unsure or mentally they don't want to or they don't know why they're doing it. And can you then, as a coach, explain to them, talk them through that, or give them a reason that they should feel okay, right? Being observant can get you way further than asking all the right questions because people don't always know how to give you the right answer. And as a coach, if you're well trained and you're very attention-oriented and detail-oriented, their body, their hips, their ankles, their glutes, or lack thereof the movement in said place can tell you everything you need to know.

SPEAKER_02 5:35

Yeah. And I think too, just like the straight up observe. Like, I'm gonna take that and be as literal as possible. If you're one of those coaches who is not actually observing your clients while they're working out, WTF. So, I mean, we make jokes about because we've known people in the past who like be eating a fucking sandwich while they're training somebody. You know what I mean? It's like, come on. So we get as trainers, you know, again, especially when you've got back-to-back-to-back clients and you've got a lot going on. If I'm trying to train in the gym, I'm also the owner of the gym. I've got people talking to me, asking me for things, you know, I got a call that's really important while I'm training. So you've got to like figure that out. You've got to navigate that. Every once in a while, you've got to check your phone. And a lot of times I'll be like, hey, I've got to check this really quick and like let my client know and check something. Or if I'm looking something up for them, obviously it's not a big deal. Um, but I'm not taking my eyes away from what they're doing for more than a second. Um, on top of safety. That's just a respect thing, in my opinion. But also I'm not getting totally sidetracked. I'm not doing my own shit while somebody's training. Like I'm actually observing so that I can see. Is there, you know, like you said, there's gonna be some type of alignment situation that you didn't catch because you weren't paying attention and now they're hurt. Um, they're not, you know, using their core for something that they should be and now they're hurt. They've they've got a pelvic tilt situation and you didn't notice it because you were too busy eating your Jimmy Johns or whatever it is. So that's a huge one for me too, is just again, the literal observation. There are so many coaches that I feel like just get such big heads and they think that they're like, you know, programming speaks for its yeah, like all that. So they can just be doing whatever um while they're training. And that drives me absolutely bananas. So I think the the literal sense of that one is important too.

SPEAKER_00 7:21

And then also on the O is just optimism, right? As a coach, it's your job to show up with a good attitude, with the intention of moving forward and with an idea of how great your client, athlete, you know, mentoring that you're working with, you have to have a certain vision for them that they may not even have for themselves yet, right? Like, hey, I see in you that you could do X and Y or be this player or be this leader or be this member of this team. We just have to do this, right? So not just saying, hey, you're bad at this, hey, we we gotta pick this up, but hey, what I see in you is why I'm being hard on you or why I'm holding you accountable, right? Because there's coaches that will just tear you a new one, and there's coaches that you feel that they're holding you to a higher level of accountability out of either belief that you can do it or out of a care that they just really want to see you achieve what you asked for.

SPEAKER_02 8:16

Yeah. And we you I think you and I were just talking about this and Ruben last week of like the spectrum of positivity, right? Where it's like we want people to be optimistic, but I think that there's a line that you have to be really careful in like the toxic positivity world. So it's like we've got the spectrum where way over here on the left-hand side is like, you know, you're shitting cupcakes and rainbows, and everything's gonna be perfect all the time, and I'm positive poly all the time. Then on the other end is like absolute Debbie Downer and the worst. And then right in the middle is where that real, like that you we wanna be a realist. Like you don't want to be a cynic. No, you don't want to be toxic positive. So it's like you want to be a realist, but you're also being very optimistic in that sense.

SPEAKER_00 9:02

I think it's just well-informed optimism.

SPEAKER_02 9:04

Yeah, right, because it's letting people know that, hey, this is gonna be tough, or hey, we're not where we want to be, or hey, that's that's gotta be frustrating because you really thought you were gonna be further along. Let's be real about this, but it doesn't mean we're not gonna be optimistic about how much further we can go 100%.

SPEAKER_00 9:20

Might not be able to in the time span or with the amount of work that you thought it would take. Yeah, like, hey, I'm not gonna tell you that you can't be a professional athlete one day, but that's then the level of accountability and the pressure that I have to provide for you unless you then communicate with me as a coach that is no longer your goal. Yeah, right. And that's where it can become a little bit hazy, right? So you have to make sure if you want the best experience from a coach that you're also being realistic and having some self-awareness, right? Because if I want to be an NBA linebacker or, you know, an NFL wide receiver, an NBA center, like, and then your coach is like, hey, that's not good enough, you can't get your feelings hurt. That's just not how it goes, you know. So there's there's a certain level of balance of optimism and realism and education. But if your coach is never optimistic, if your coach is never telling you, hey, we can do this, it's just gonna take X and Y, or hey, I see this in you, you need a different coach.

SPEAKER_02 10:19

Absolutely. There's gotta be some. I know we'll get to this one, but there's gotta be some hype girl, hype guy like stuff in there. And again, there's a lot of coaches that, especially online, like it's just it's like funny, it's like memeable where they just run you into the ground the entire time, and that's their entire job is just to talk shit and make you realize that you're not there, you're not there, you're not there. Hey, by the way, you're not there.

SPEAKER_00 10:40

And it's like you're not who you think you are, guys.

SPEAKER_02 10:42

It's crazy. It's to me anyway. I agree. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:46

And then yeah, going, we've kind of already touched on the first A, but that's accountability, because that's everything that you need from a coach. If you, you know, didn't need accountability, you wouldn't have a coach. There's plenty of people that don't work with a trainer, don't work with the coach, they love the solo dolo. They like to just, you know, show up and have a coach at practice, but the majority of their outside training is by themselves and that's what they like. But accountability is something that you need to expect from your coach, especially if they're a good coach. And the more that they're, you know, holding you accountable, the more they can really assist you in reaching said goal, right? And assistance from a coach can look a hundred different types of ways. Assistance from a coach might be a ride to the facility one day. Assistance from a coach might be, hey, I'll take you to the grocery store so that you can actually get what you need to eat these meals that are necessary. Hey, I'll go with you to the grocery store and we can shop together. Hey, I know getting those steps in by yourself, going to the batting cage by yourself, whatever it is, is not super accessible. Let me give you some assistance there, right? So whether it's 1% assistance and it's just, hey, let me pick up those weights for you, or 80, 90% assistance of, hey, I will pick you up, we can eat together, we can do this. You have to know what level of assistance you need from a coach and find a coach that's willing to meet you there.

SPEAKER_02 12:09

Yeah. I think it's really important to point out at this point, like what you're doing and breaking this down is helping people understand, like as a coach, what is important. Um, and then also as a person, like a client, what is important. So it's like both of these things, like the accountability part is again, as a coach, you should be doing that 100%. And again, this is varying degrees. So, like a private trainer, obviously, accountability is gonna be different than like a semi-private training class or a group class instructor or something like that, but there still is varying levels. And then again, as a client who's going in and paying your hard-earned money, and I'm gonna keep saying this in these because of the year that we're in, but like in this economy, you should be getting what you're paying for. Like you should be getting like really great service, especially for what people, you know, charge for private training. It is a valuable service. Um, but as a client, you should 100% be getting the value out of that. So if you feel like you need more accountability, then that's something that you need to assess and you need to be like, you know what? I based on the list that he's given so far, my current trainer sucks. I'm not getting any of this stuff, or I don't feel any of that stuff. Oh my God, I've never felt comfortable a day in my life training with my trainer. What? Like, what? That's crazy. So thinking about it from both of those two perspectives as we go through this, I think is like really important and um impactful.

SPEAKER_00 13:38

Yeah. And then moving on to that second C as a coach, you know, once you've really set up the comfort and the consistency, at the end of the day, it is my job to challenge you, right? If you want to achieve what you're telling me that you want to achieve, whether that's a physical goal or a mental or emotional situation of just feeling more badass, you are gonna have to be challenged, right? The way I tell my people a lot of the time is if I ride my bike around the block, I don't feel like a badass because I know I can ride a bike, right? If I went and did a mountain climbing wall that I thought I had no chance at doing and I make it three quarters of the way up, even if I'm not successful, holy shit, I went three quarters of the way up that mountain wall that I had no idea that I had even a chance of doing, right? So over and over and over doing stuff that you know you're good at is good for consistency. It's good for teaching you that you can show up and that you're, you know, a diligent person. But if you want to build confidence, you have to go and lift a weight that you're not sure if you can lift. You have to go on a hike that you're not sure if you can complete. If you want to be this type of player, this type of athlete, you have to try what your coach is asking, even if you're unsure if you're capable, and allow that coach to assist you and or take that off of you, right? Hey, as a coach, I asked this of you and you couldn't quite do it. That's okay. We'll work up to it, right? But I have to challenge you as a coach, one, to feel fulfilled as a coach, and two, for you to get what you want as a client.

SPEAKER_02 15:09

Yeah. Amen. And I think the challenging is it's physical, it's mental, it's psychological, it's social. And that's what I was gonna say is for us, a huge part of it is challenging beliefs and challenging mindset. Is like, is that really the best mindset? Um, has that really helped you in the past? Is that really based in truth? And again, that's one of our, you know, our claims to fame right now is bringing people in and helping them untwist themselves out of the freaking pretzel that they've gotten into with health and fitness and all these weird beliefs and crazy things that have kept kept them stuck and like ironing all of that out by challenging belief after belief after belief until they're finally like, holy shit, like that's crazy. I believed that and I thought that, and now I'm so glad that I don't anymore. So really, really impressive and uh important.

SPEAKER_00 16:04

Yeah, and the flip side of that coin, just as much as it's my job to challenge you as a coach, it's also my job to cheer you on, right? If I challenge you to do something and you're successful or not, either way, you're gonna get some praise from me. Like, hey, that was an awesome try. The effort was there, the form was there. We just have to work up to it. Or holy shit, you did that. I told you, I saw it in you. That's all you, though. Like you lifted that weight, you made that catch, you pushed that sled, whatever it is. All I did was see in you that you were capable, but that is all you, right? The hard work, the execution, the success, that is yours, right? The push is for me, the success is for you. And that's another huge thing as a coach. If they're trying to take your successes or share the wins, that's just not something I like to do, right? If you're hitting a 400-pound deadlift and you're like, we did it, coach, I'm like, respectfully, you did it. Like, I showed up, I made some good programming, I've been here cheering you on, but you lifted that weight. Yeah, we showed up together, we worked hard, but you, that is your win, right? That's a big thing for me as a coach because I don't want a coach, you see what my player did. Like, yeah, let me let me have this moment, coach, right? And let people learn sometimes, right? I think a lot of the time, instead of cheering somebody on or taking something away right away, seeing somebody fail and letting them think about it for a second, that can be a lot more of a learning moment than being like, hey, you did this wrong, right? Like seeing somebody go for a deadlift, fail, and you just let them drop it, and they're just like, Yeah, you don't say anything, and then they just restrap and go for it again, right? If I'm like, hey, just sometimes it's just staying back, right? Like, I'm gonna cheer you on. I just have to shut my mouth sometimes too, though. If you're in the zone, I'm just gonna let you be, you know.

SPEAKER_02 17:57

Well, and I think there's so much power to that because you are like, how authentic is that, right? Like how, instead of just always feeling like you've gotta be saying something or be doing something, and am I saying the right thing? Am I doing the right thing? Am I cheering the right way? Am I whatever? I think there's a lot of like, um, I think a lot of times that's just disingenuous too, is like people who just are doing too damn much sometimes. So it's like the silence, I think, is a great thing. I think it's really authentic. Like that would be powerful to me. And again, I think in this area, when we're talking about cheering people on, there's a lot of like, especially when you're like in group classes, you know, like when we were with the franchise, a lot of the coaching, like the teaching of what we're doing goes into the right things to say and the right things to do and the right things to compliment on and the right things. It's like you're trained like a bot to say certain things and do certain things. And so it's not authentic. It doesn't feel good. And, you know, with us, it's just very different. It's like when we say the shit, we mean it. Like there's not gonna be this whole hype squad situation that's fake. Um, you know, I had a member say to me um not too long ago, so I, if you know me, you know that I love I my ladies come in, I'm like, hey, gorgeous. Like that's just one of my things. Hey, pretty lady. Hey, like it's just that's just one of my things. I always just say that. And um, but when I say it, I mean it. Like I mean gorgeous from like a perspective of like everything, like your heart, your like you as a person, your attitude, your strength, your like grit, all the things. When I say that, that's what I mean. I'm not talking about like you've got gorgeous hair and like whatever. You got that too, I'm sure. But my gorgeous is like a whole person thing. Like you are a gorgeous fucking human being in every single thing that you're doing. When I say it, I mean it. And I had a member not too long ago say to me, um, she was like, you know, nobody's ever called me that before in my entire life. And she said, And when you first started saying that to me, I was kind of taken aback by it because I was like, why is she saying that? Like it's not true. I don't know why she says that. That just must be like a thing. She goes, but now, like when you say it, I know you actually mean it. And it means a lot to me. And I was just like, oh my God. Like it just, and again, it just for whatever reason, I've never really thought about it like that. Again, I know how I feel about it when I'm saying it, but to have somebody actually put that much thought into it and say it back to me was important. And I just realized, like, that's how you let people know you're fucking serious about it. Is like there's no, I'm not saying that just to gas somebody up, as my middle schoolers would say, stop glazing me. Um, you know, like I'm cut the glaze. Like, I'm not doing that. If I say it, I mean it. I'm not playing around. Um, and so again, I think that that's just really important too, is that what you're saying is powerful. Words have power. And so mean what you say and say what you mean. And then again, making sure that the actions follow up behind that, I think is so important. So the hype thing seems like it would be the easiest part of this as a coach. Good job, good job, keep it up, keep it up, you're killing it, you're killing it.

SPEAKER_00 21:24

Sometimes the biggest hype you can give as a coach is just shutting your mouth. Silence. Because you see that they have it. They just have to decide that they have it, right? Whatever I say, I'm not gonna take that moment from you. I'm not well, just like I if I see that you have it and you just have to decide that you have it, yeah. I'm gonna let you go through that by yourself. And then if you need me, I'm right there. You can, hey coach, what do I do? What but if you're like you're you're locked in, I can see like it's in your eyes, homie. That's you. I don't even want to talk to you right now. You might bark at me.

SPEAKER_02 21:56

Sometimes that's all it takes is eye contact. Yeah, I know is a like volatile. Coach. It's like half the time, you don't have to say anything. I remember thinking of that about my coach. Bitch, you don't think I know what the hell I just did? Like, why does it have to be a good thing? Yeah, like it's always got to be something. I know I did it wrong. I did it. But like you look at a kid, they look at you, and it's like, you got this. You know what I mean? It's like, let's go. Like, I don't have to say anything to you. You got it.

SPEAKER_00 22:23

Yeah. Because body language as a coach is also everything, right? The looking at your client, the the player, whatever it is, and just not like the not arms crossed, the not shoulders up. You're not glaring at them, right? That just that allows you to work out or to play or to live in a free way that makes it easier to perform.

SPEAKER_02 22:43

Well, and at the end of the day, I think you and I talked about this way like a long time ago, probably. It's been damn near a year since we've been recording these BTW. But it's making me think about we talked about because I feel like when we first started recording these, remember the baseball team was like in, they were so they were underdogs last year. And then they ended up going into regionals. Um, they didn't make it very far, but they were going in regionals, and we were talking about the damn people in the stands who are so annoying and always have the most negative crap to say. I have never in my life, when you were sitting with these Pirate Club people, and yeah, I'm saying it, like these jokers have so much to say about every player, every play, every coaching decision, every everything. And it is truly one of those situations where you're like, number one, I've been a student athlete.

SPEAKER_01 23:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:35

And on what planet would you have everybody circle around a kid who is struggling and all just start throwing shit at them or a coach and just start throwing your shitty two cents at them. On what planet does that ever help the team win? Like, do we really think this day and age that that motivates people? Because you're out of your freaking gourd. Number two, the majority of these people like couldn't even make the fucking JV team. Yeah. So it's like, hey, everybody, gather around.

SPEAKER_00 24:03

Y'all couldn't run the bases right now.

SPEAKER_02 24:04

Let's hear what you know the freaking manager of the boys' middle school baseball team has to say about a D1 school in super regional.

SPEAKER_00 24:15

A lot of the time it's like the cook at the local sandwich shop, see what he has to say. For real.

SPEAKER_02 24:20

It's crazy. So it's like, please stop. So, anyway, all of that to say, it is the hype thing too. Like you're saying, it is a body language thing. It is an eye contact thing. It is just a presence. Because think about the thing that would actually motivate you in those situations. And that's the important thing to give. Again, it doesn't always have to be the cheerleader and the pom-poms and whatever. It's going to be different for every single person, but it's definitely not the other side of that where it's like throwing, you know, shit and saying what everybody already knows and pointing out the obvious and keeping the score sheet. I fucking hate somebody who keeps score. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. Like, stop.

SPEAKER_00 25:01

So yeah, it can't be all challenge, it can't be all cheer up. That would not be authentic, right? But you have to learn with the client, with the athlete, whoever you're with, what level of challenge to cheer that they need. There's I've worked with guys that need 90% challenge and they just want the dap up and the bro, I knew it, right? Like they they just need that five or 10% of cheer up and they don't want to hear it and like I know, I know. Like they don't want to hear it until they got it. And when they got it, all they want is the acknowledgement, right? Yeah. There's people that need 70% of the cheer up, right? And don't that they don't really need the challenge right now. That showing up, that being there, that just becoming proficient is enough of the challenge and they need more affirmation. They need you to cheer for them more. And then that's gonna change as you go. If we're 90%, you know, cheering when you first get there, and then we come down to 50-50, that just might be what it takes to now get you to that next step in your, you know, athletic or gym progress.

SPEAKER_02 26:04

Yeah. And one thing I'll add to this too quickly is if you're a coach, one thing that we have found that's really helpful, and especially on the retainment side, is every client that we have come in, we talk to them about what kind of coach do you need? Like what kind of coaching style is gonna work the best for you? And then they tell us and we take all that information in. But another question that we'll ask is like, so when and if you try to disappear on us, you try to homer Simpson into the bushes on us, what is it that we need to say or do to bring you back? And that is really impactful because a lot of people will be like, uh, and it's like, I already know, you know, like you already know when you get into that mindset what it's gonna, what it's gonna look like, feel like, smell like, taste like the whole thing. So what do you need from us in that moment to say? Because everybody's so different. Like, if I went MIA, I would just want somebody to be like, Carissa, what's going on? Are you okay? I'm here. Like, I don't want somebody like, you know, missed you in the gym this week. Hey, two weeks now, haven't seen you in the gym.

SPEAKER_00 27:04

Remember what you signed up for. Three weeks.

SPEAKER_02 27:06

Like, I thought we were whole, you know, I thought you were gonna be accountable. Like, I don't want that because I'm gonna be like goodbye forever. Because I got a lot shit, I like got a lot of shit going on. So I want the accountability, but I also want like, I validate that you've probably got something going on right now. So I'm validating that, but also I know that you work hard.

SPEAKER_00 27:26

So the fact that you're not here, there's gotta be something.

SPEAKER_02 27:29

We gotta figure this out. And so I think that's a really important thing too. When again, we're talking about hyping people up and keeping people accountable in general, is like as a coach, ask them those questions and as a client, think about those things. Like, so you can even say that. So listen, I have a tendency of starting things and then quitting. So if I try to quit, this is the thing that's gonna help me the most, or I might just need a minute, just give me a second. I we were just I was talking breathe through this, you know, not too long ago with one of her clients that just went MIA and I said, Hey, you can't keep at this point, you can't keep saying, Hey, checking in, hey, you got schedule, hey. So I said, Text her and just be like, Are you okay?

SPEAKER_01 28:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:10

And that's it. I did the exact same thing with a client that went MIA boxing one that we had who was here religiously, the whole fam. And then all of a sudden they just went MIA. And I was like, we can only send so many messages that are like, Where are you? What's going on? You know, we need a new card on file. You've gone to link like what is the point in that? It's like there's something happening. So my message was, are you okay? Yeah. We're checking in. Are you all right? Are you guys okay? I just need a sign of life at this point. And then instantly responded and was like, hey, life has been absolute shit. We are struggling. Thank you for asking. Yeah. This is when we'll be back. Boom, done. And so again, all of that going into you know what we're talking about as far as like being a coach, I think that's a really good like psychological thing to put people through at the beginning. Um, because then they actually have to think about it. So then when you do it, they're like, ah shit, I'm they're doing the thing I told them to do. So I need to come back into it now.

SPEAKER_00 29:08

And a lot of the time it's just like we've talked about before, being curious and not accusatory, right? Like for me, it's always just like a, hey, I hope everything's okay. Or like, hey, I hope, I hope all is well. And because the hey, you didn't where are you at? I didn't see you this week. Hey, you didn't you didn't reschedule, but like, hey, I hope everything's okay, or hey, I hope all is well. That almost immediately, like you're saying, the hey, it's really not, I'm just really going through a lot right now. Like, thank you for the empathy. I'll be back as soon as I can. Absolutely. And like, at least, like you're saying, signs of life. It's not that you hate me or hate the gym or that we did something, which we try not to go to that anyway, because we're very, very careful about doing no harm. But we still like the affirmation that we're not pushing anyone out of our space, you know.

SPEAKER_01 29:51

For sure.

SPEAKER_00 29:51

Yep. And then for the the H when it comes to coaching, we've got humble, happy, helpful, and then a bonus is humorous. But you know, not every coach can be funny.

SPEAKER_02 30:03

If your coach isn't funny, then get rid of them.

SPEAKER_00 30:05

You're just you're missing out, but uh they don't teach you that on the you know, the NASA or anything. They don't give you any jokes.

SPEAKER_04 30:12

Go be an accountant. No offense, accountants.

SPEAKER_00 30:15

You guys are probably funny too, but but yeah, so like, you know, humble, we've kind of already touched on that, but like if your coach is, you know, an asshole or just like, well, you're just not, I told you what to do, you're not doing it, right? Or they just think, well, I've won this much, or I've created this many athletes, or I have this many transformations, so it's gotta be you. Like tomato, tomato, tomato that, right? So always humble, always, hey, there's probably something I can be doing better as a coach. Maybe there's something you could be doing better as a client, but it's never gonna be, why aren't you following the plan? You suck. We're not hitting this goal because you're not doing X, Y, and Z. I can't do anything else for you, right? That's just I've never seen a coach approach something that way and have it turn into anything besides a client leaving or dysfunction and the client going down a very negative path of a relationship with whatever activity it was.

SPEAKER_02 31:12

Well, because you think about that's diet culture. That's what we talk about in here all the time is this idea that health and fitness, there's always this backdoor out for coaches, gyms, influencers, whatever.

SPEAKER_00 31:26

You're just not doing it.

SPEAKER_02 31:27

Where we always just turn the gun back around on you. And it's like no matter what, that's always the out. You fucked it up. You're not doing something right. I'm doing everything right. So it must be you. Yeah, our programs are awesome. 100%. And so it's like that's always gonna be the out. And again, it's really shitty and it's really lazy and it's really crappy. And so as a client, you can know that, you know, that's a red flag in somebody. If they try to turn that back around on you, you like that, then that's a hundred percent a red flag on them. And then as a coach, you've got to get in, like dig deeper with that stuff. And again, if it's private training, if it's something like that, if it's coaching services and you feel like that's adding more work to what you're doing, then charge what you're worth. Increase your prices if you need to do that. But that is 100% something that you should be doing and not just this cookie cutter shit with people that again sends them down the disorder path of like, well, it's me. It's I'm, you know, I'm just a shameful human being and I need to figure out something that will actually work for me because I'm so broken that even this guy can't fix me. And that's just not the truth of the situation. It's very lazy, lazy training.

SPEAKER_00 32:36

Yeah. And then happy, right? If you're especially working with the coach on making lifestyle changes and long-term improvements to your health, and your coach seems like a miserable piece of shit, you're probably with the wrong coach, right? If he shows up to practice or to train you every day and he's, you know, walking up, huffing and puffing, or his shoulders are already drawn up tight, or he's just, you know, you're just warming up and he's got his arms crossed. Like, it's not a happy coach. I would rather work with a happy coach, and then I know for a fact that if he's unhappy, either there's something going on in his home life, and or we're just really fucking up as a team or a client, you know, and that's yeah, but your coach should come in and seem happy to be there, happy to train you, happy to be doing what they're doing, because at the end of the day, coaching should be a passion, not something that you're required to show up for and that you hate.

SPEAKER_01 33:31

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 33:32

Like you were saying, go be an accountant. If you want to have a job that you hate and just get paid well for it, go be an accountant, go be a spreadsheet manager, like I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 33:42

But uh something.

SPEAKER_00 33:44

That'd be my nightmare job. All you gotta do is manage spreadsheet. Oh that would just I'd I'd kill my client. I'd be gone.

SPEAKER_02 33:50

You know what I'd damn everybody in those. If you're crappy in any of that stuff, I used to say this about the mental health text of the hospital too. Like if you are in your job and you hate your job, um, especially though, if you're in one of these helping fields, yeah, then I damn you to have to work at this is the this would be my seventh circle of hell, taking the tickets at like Frankie's or like Chuck E. Cheese or something, when the kids have 50,000 tickets and they come up to the counter and they're like, now this is better now because it's on cards, right? But when they had the tickets, it was even more horrifying. If you have kids or you've ever worked in these situations, you know what I'm talking about. But a kid goes up there and they're like, you have 7,481 tickets. And then the kid's like, okay, like I'll take one blow pop, one ring.

SPEAKER_04 34:42

Oh 14 tipsy wools, 14 tipsy rolls, and then the guy's like, okay, you have 7,403 tickets.

SPEAKER_03 34:50

And then he's like, and the kid, the parents let him do this. They pick out like one thing at a time, and they pick out 97,000 things and they click off four tickets at a time, and they've got 10,000 tickets. My seventh circle of hell.

SPEAKER_02 35:03

When my kids we walk up there, I'm like, you pick the biggest thing.

SPEAKER_04 35:06

Yeah, and it's taking all your tickets. And then you got like two pieces of gum, and then get the hell out of here. You got one shot. Because if you do this, it is my absolute nightmare.

SPEAKER_00 35:16

How many yo-yos could I get?

SPEAKER_02 35:18

That and they've got 50,000 tickets.

SPEAKER_03 35:21

Like, what are we doing?

SPEAKER_02 35:23

What are we doing? And so it's Chuck E. Cheese Hell. It's my seventh circle of hell. I could never do it. So, anyway, yeah, people like that, that's what they should be damned to is a job like that where you just sit and take tickets from these freaking two-year-olds who just want to pick out, you know, and they're like, no, no, no, the the blue raspberry one, not the green apple one.

SPEAKER_00 35:41

Like, yeah, like my my goal, my dream is for everyone to have a job that they enjoy and that they're passionate about, and that they don't wake up hating the fact that they have to drive across town to do this godforsaken activity again, right? But especially if you are a forward-facing individual, you work directly with clients, right? A therapist, a doctor, a nurse, a coach, a trainer, a like even like a DMV worker that you just have to show up and be face to face. Like if showing up there makes you just want to be like, why are you here? Nope. Yeah, nope, mm-mm, hell no, right? Like, just get a different job. I'm not trying to deal with that. I don't want to be at the DMV either.

SPEAKER_03 36:23

Like, God, damn y'all. Anyway.

SPEAKER_02 36:27

So unless you're the ticket taker at Frankie's, then we accept we're empathetic to your job and what you're doing. But I think too, this kind of goes into the podcast that we just recorded before this is about the wellness wheel. So if you're in an unhealthy place occupationally in life, then you need to look at some other spokes of your wheel because are there some other places like are all the spokes struggling right now? Because you could do some work in some other areas in order to help bring the happiness up, the quality of life up a little bit in the occupational one. If you're struggling, or again, we say like go get another job, like it's easy because sometimes it's not. But there are things that you can do to balance other areas of your life that will help increase your um quality of life in the occupational area. So it the bottom line is it's not an excuse to just be shitty. Like it's not. You have control over that, you have power over that. And again, as a trainer, I would guess that you're probably one of those trainers that's like, all it takes is discipline, all it takes is motivation. What you don't have enough, you know, enough grit to do this, carry the fucking boats. And so if you can't do that in your own life and enjoy your job, then what are we even talking about?

SPEAKER_00 37:40

So that's real anyway. And then the last thing on the H is helpful. And I just that's just being, you know, solution oriented, right? Not picking out problems. This is why, here's the problem, here's the problem, here's the problem, but just being solution-oriented. Like you come to your coach with the problem and they want to be helpful. They're not defensive, they're not figure it out, right? Just a coach that is solution-oriented, that wants to see you move forward and move forward in a way that you're comfortable with and happy with.

SPEAKER_02 38:07

Yes, comfortable is especially because I again we know a lot of coaches in this space that will you bring them a problem, they'll try to solve it with a really expensive supplement or a more training or something like that. That again, there might be a financial barrier on it. There might be a scheduling barrier on it, there might be like whatever. There might be something that's a barrier or a contraindication. And if they're still trying to push that on you, then that's not a good coach. A good coach should be working within your budget, your schedule, your goals, your abilities, your life, your season, like all of those things. We're never gonna try to punch somebody in the head over and over again and force them into something that they can't actually do. That's not coaching at all.

SPEAKER_00 38:47

And then just uh a list of some of my biggest red flags for coaches. Uh just demeaning, rude, inconsistent, unhappy. One of my least favorite types of coach is an aloof coach. Right. Like honestly, yell at me before you just don't, you're not there mentally. You know, like if you're just on the sidelines scrolling your phone or like eating your sandwich. Eating like aloof will just make me pissed. Like, that'll just make me mad in a different way. Like, if you get mad at me and might put a chip on my shoulder, I can at least use that. You you're just there and don't give a fuck. No, I'm I'm just joining a different team, you know. I'm gonna find me a coach that cares.

SPEAKER_03 39:29

I was gonna say that part, like business goes elsewhere a hundred percent.

SPEAKER_00 39:34

And blame's shortcomings on you, right? That's one of my things as a coach. If you succeed, that's you. If you fail, hey, that's on me. Let's work on getting to success, right? Don't let the coach take your successes away, and don't let the coach pin their own failures or shortcomings on you. Yeah, and then damaging your relationship with the activity or with yourself.

unknown 39:57

For real.

SPEAKER_00 39:58

Because that's for real. A very, very consistent happening if you play for a shitty coach. That you'll either leave practice or leave that team, and either your love for the game or your love for yourself is severely damaged or just gone. So that's like the biggest red flag. That's a triple red flag on the hat swirling around. Wee wee wee! Just get off that team right now. Yes. Uh consistently trying to sell you something. That's not what coaching is all about. Right here, this is the price, this is what we're doing. Great, let's get started. But then if it's always, but I've the uh I mean, but we have this other, but we have this meal prep. Oh, but if you got this exact stuff, but I work with this company, just get what you're paying for. If they can really give you a rhyme or a reason that this supplement, this bit of lifting equipment will aid you in your specific goals, it's not wrong for a coach to try to sell you something or provide something that is going to help you along your journey. But if it's consistent and persistent and annoying and all the time, that's just an NLM.

SPEAKER_02 41:11

The the nonstop coupon codes, the non-stop affiliate codes, the non-stop like link in bio, link in bio, use uh code Charles Barkley to lose 400 pounds.

SPEAKER_00 41:25

Any any bit of shade Carissa can throw right now, she's just like Charles Barkley, not even hiding it.

SPEAKER_04 41:31

Use Mike Tyson, yeah, Mike Tyson.

SPEAKER_00 41:35

And uh not practicing what they preach. That's one of my biggest things as a coach. You know, it's always easier to work with somebody, work for somebody, or play for somebody that at least seems to be doing what they ask you to do. Like if your coach is out there and can still do what they're asking you to do and show you how to do it, it's a lot easier for me to play for that coach than the coach that's sitting his ass on the ball of bucket and you know, yelling at me for not moving quick enough. Yeah. Just stand up, coach. Stand up, you know, like yeah.

SPEAKER_02 42:08

Well, and if you're training for something specific too, I think again, this is where we want to empower people to like have the have the like be empowered, have the autonomy to say, you know, like if I'm coaching somebody and they want to run the boss in marathon, I don't know how the fuck to train somebody to run the boss in marathon. So obviously I'm gonna do some research. But if there's somebody that I could also refer them to that could give them that coaching, then I would a hundred percent do that. Like I wouldn't try, like I again, I think it's a red flag to like try to talk shit about somebody else like helping coach that's actually done it and try to pretend like I could do it or pretend like I could bridge that gap some way when it's like I really can't, or it's like, oh, have you done that before? And it's like, well, no, but anybody could teach you how to do that with an online program. Like, yeah, okay, but dude right over here has actually done it. So why wouldn't I ask him?

SPEAKER_00 43:01

So I'm not, you know, promoting myself as a Pilates instructor.

SPEAKER_02 43:05

Exactly. And so, and then if I come in, I have some real questions about that to try to like, again, I think it's just part of the coaching thing. It's a red flag if somebody doesn't have the humility, um, the confidence within themselves to be able to say, you know what, I don't know anything about that, but let me find out that information for you. Or I don't know anything about that. Let's pull in such and such, or let's get you a program, you know, that would actually help with that, because I don't know anything about that. I think there's a lot to be said for people who are just real about that. We we shouldn't expect that trainers are, you know, know it all in every single aspect of health and fitness. Like that's just not even real.

SPEAKER_00 43:42

Your doctor sends you to a specialist almost every single time. If you go see your general practitioner, a lot of the time, they're not even making a diagnosis. They're like, sounds like something you need to go to radiology for. Sounds like you need to go see a lot of people.

SPEAKER_02 43:55

And I think we should normalize that, right? Is like, you know, I don't know anything about that. So So, you know, and if a person needs to move on to somebody else, I think that there's just this air of desperation sometimes in coaches that it's like, I will do whatever it takes to keep a person and almost like put them at risk in a lot of ways because it's like you're not gonna be able to help that person in the right way. I think, I think there's a lot to be said too for like the gym space and like we talk about this a lot, physical therapy. I think there's like a really there's a line there that's like kind of gray sometimes. And a lot of people will come choose us over physical therapy places because of different aspects that I won't get into, and then vice versa. But again, for us to be like we've taken a lot of people from physical therapy places not on purpose, but they've come to us for various things. We're capable of doing a lot of these things, but for us to try to pretend like we can be physical therapy for somebody is not appropriate.

SPEAKER_00 44:51

And so diagnosis is 100% out of our scope. If you come to me and say, I have a frozen shoulder, I have biceps tendinitis, I have iliotibule radio, you know, radiopathy, whatever. Like if you give me a diagnosis from a professional, from a PT with a MRI, with a CAT scan, whatever, sure, I can do plenty of research, get you there, and help you because there's programs out there and information out there that can get a trainer on a level that they can help you with physical therapy grade activities. But I don't have x-ray or MRI eyes. So I can't look in and be like, mm-hmm. Definitely a turn, you know, a torn whatever. There's just 100% there.

SPEAKER_02 45:35

Yeah, and some of those things are so intense that it's like that's not what we went to school for. Like, period. So you get what you need from a physical therapist, and then you get to the point where they discharge you, or you can kind of do some stuff with us um that's supplemental while you're still doing physical therapy. And then we marry all the things together. But again, there's a it's just a huge red flag practice, in my opinion, with a lot of trainers that they just don't want to admit that they don't know how to train something. They just don't want to admit that they don't know the best way to do it, and then they will hurt people. Or again, the goal is just so hardcore weight loss, like get the weight off of them, fat burning, whatever it is, and then they hurt people. So they put them on a treadmill and have them.

SPEAKER_00 46:20

What if they really have something going on with their knees? Absolutely. What if there's some lateral tears the meniscus? What if there's some knee valgus from weakness in all these other muscles? Or yeah.

SPEAKER_04 46:30

Yeah, yep, that part.

SPEAKER_00 46:31

And then my last red flag was just attaching moral value to either food, fitness level, or performance. If there, you know, that's that food is bad, or like, hey, you're you're, you know, you're you're a shit person because you can't do this, right? Because you're you weigh this much, or you can't do this, or you can't perform in this way, you are less thin, or you're not a hard worker, or you're not a a good individual, you're not whatever it is, you're not being a good, you know, representation for your family. Anytime there is a moral attachment to either food, fitness level, or performance, give that guy a smooth backhand and leave. That's all it is. And then go straight, player, and then walk out of doors.

SPEAKER_04 47:18

Go straight to McDonald's and eat your happy meal and just be fine.

SPEAKER_02 47:22

So yeah, I laugh because that's how serious it is. Like the way you're describing it is like funny, but we've lived this life now for so long that it is wild how people will just, you know, what's that? Um, like speaking of McDonald's, what's that idiot nutrition influencer? Um God, he's so he looks like a little troll. Bobby. Bobby something. What's his name? Anyway, he's horrifying. What a rat. So he goes into grocery stores and stuff like that and finds food and then scares everybody with the ingredients and stuff like that. He has no business doing this. He has no, you know, doctorate. He has no PhD, he has nothing behind his name. He literally makes shit up. So the last one, because I saw somebody stitch him and drag him for this. He went into a McDonald's. He started out on the outside of the McDonald's and he goes, Don't ever, ever, ever, ever eat in a McDonald's. But if you find yourself here and you have to eat something, here's what I would recommend. And then goes into the place and orders a Big Mac and proceeds to eat the Big Mac. And I was like, What fucking timeline are we in right now? What is happening? This guy is absolutely insane. Who starts off a video by saying, never ever, ever, because this is what he does. This is his life, is shaming the shit out of people for eating in a McDonald's because he is so privileged and he has no idea what a food desert looks like or what an inability to pay for food or have to like pick up food for the kids. He has no idea what any of those things look like. So to say that and then go into McDonald's, eat a Big Mac while tearing apart the Big Mac sauce, which is was his biggest beef because it has emulsifiers in it. Bobby, get the absolute fuck out of my face. Like, I just in so it's like it's that crazy stuff that people will create such a space of like, it is right, wrong, left, right, live, die, black, white. And that is the biggest red flag in all of this, you guys. If you are eating a McDonald's Big Mac every day, then yes, yeah, 100%. We don't want you doing that.

SPEAKER_00 49:31

Yeah, sometimes foods and all the time foods.

SPEAKER_02 49:34

But if you're gonna go in and have a fucking happy meal and what, then do it and be fine and then move on and go back to what you were doing. But this idea that it's like angel devil is so unbelievably played out and crazy. And these jokers like him have a link tree full of a thousand and one things to buy from them. All these, and I mean, they're making hundreds of thousands of millions, some of these of dollars off of you being scared to death of foods that are not going to harm you if you are having them every once in a while in any way, shape, or form. In any way, shape or form. Because then two seconds later, you see an influencer that's just like him, snaky, yucky, ratty, like just wants people to like, you know, grow their own food and eat it out of their backyard or whatever. But then he's going through McDonald's talking about if you just got a tray of the McDonald's meat, that's actually really good for, you know, that's really good. Do that. It's just meat and salt. Like, y'all get on the same page, please. Like somebody decide, never ever, ever eat here. But if you were going to, yeah, because at some point he has to start figuring out he's getting rid of a good chunk of people in general, because again, this economy and what we're living in and what people are having to deal with, you're gonna have to go through a McDonald's every once in a while, the the majority of normal human beings. It's just the way it is. So he's like, okay, well, I'll comply a little bit. Yeah. I'll talk about how terrible it is, and you're actually a terrible person if you do this.

SPEAKER_00 51:04

You have to be a terrible, crazy, stupid individual and eat a McDonald's.

SPEAKER_02 51:09

Like if you have to be morally devoid for a day, guys, then go get the Big Mac, but make sure that you, you know, wipe the sauce off on the napkin and then eat the rest of it. Like, get an actual grip anyway. I made it almost through that entire thing without fucking Bobby.

SPEAKER_00 51:27

Well, yeah, so that's that's just our red flags, you know. Take those as you will. I hope that you got a lot out of our coach acronym. You know, if you're experiencing a coach or you have, you know, children that are working with the coach right now that are exhibiting any of these red flags, or just don't give off what we were talking about when, you know, listing off good qualities of a coach. Give us a call, right? Come train with us, work with us. We have trainers that work with kids from six years old up to trainers that work with people in their 80s and 90s. So whatever level of fitness you're at, whatever your relationship with movement is, whatever your desired goals are, come to Rebel Fitness and or just check in with us, even if you're far away and call, hey, I'm not in a place where I could actually come to Rebel Fitness, but I would love to do coaching or online coaching, or even just get your opinion on the closest thing that I have near me that would be something that's like you guys, right? Because then we can look, okay, where do you live? Cool. Let me look through, I'll do a little recon and get back to you. I think this gym or this gym would be the best because they at least seem to adhere to a moderately weight neutral model. They're not pushing all these supplements or weight loss supplements, they're not demeaning, they're not putting down their clientele. But whatever help that you need, whatever assistance, oh, that's what coaches are supposed to do, reach out and we would be happy to help you. Besides that, if you're in town, come check us out. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook. We work with, you know, dietitians, we work with therapists, we work with a meal prep individual. So whatever you need, whatever support, assistance, accountability that you could want, check us out at Rebel Fitness. We'll help you out or get you where you need to be. Enjoy your day, and we'll see you again soon.

SPEAKER_02 53:15

Later.